Have a question?
Confused about life?
Wondering what that thing on your face is?
Ask a cheek!
The Cheeks in the City advice column is free and open to all.
How does a cheek enjoy life? This becoming-plastic cheek undergoes excruciating bliss while experiencing the highlights of city life. The complex nature of leisure absorbs the agony of invisible shadow cheeks. Mystery cheek says, “In Cambodia, people call me mannequin.”
two cheeks explain it all
these are rapid and famous cheeks in motion
| Seeker: | I'm lost and cold and the voices won't leave me alone. Can I hide inside your cheek? |
|---|---|
| Cheek1: | Yes. A cheek is a stretchable and warm substance. I am compassionate, moist and slightly bumpy on the inside. I bleed once a month, but with you inside, I will stop bleeding for at least three months, up to nine months. You can hide inside my cheek, a cheek within a cheek within a cheek, if you shall be my egg. |
HYPERVENTI-LIKE
the endangered cheek doesn’t advise you to retain much blubber because ice is going to be totally manmade soon.
the cheek of melancholia
| Lucas De Lima: | ha. you cheeks I had the weirdest dream last night that I might be able to write about on the cheek. It was basically apocalyptic--the rules of society had changed. Julianne Moore was telling us all in the 'community' (there were maybe 30 people in this cafeteria-like room) about how we can't eat any organic food. She demonstrated with a film or something what happens when you eat something from the ground: your mouth, nose, and eyes seal up and you die inside yourself. |
|---|---|
| You become all cheek. | |
| Feng Chen: | omg i had apocalyptic dream too. in mine, a disgruntled housewife starts out trying to get her lock changed, but ends up trying to have sex with a young locksmith. He invokes other children by talking to clay kodomari. He is (underage) who turns out to have a disease that makes his body melt slightly. She tied him to some kind of rotating table device. And then murders start to happen but I don' t know how they are related. In the end, a bunch of children are killed. |
| Lucas De Lima: | Wow, that's fengtastic |
| [...] | |
| Jesse Lenna: | OMG my friend just emailed me that she had an apocalyptic dream last night too. I am worried psychic friends |
| Feng Chen: | it's turning yellow outside |
| Lucas De Lima: | whoa! |
| it really is | |
| Feng Chen: | we have to make a teepee with sticks |
| and then we can hold hands | |
| Lucas De Lima: | at least we will die connected by this message thread |
| it is our teepee | |
| Feng Chen: | my hands touch plastic keys connected to your internet hands |
| Alex: | yes i'm sorry. i need to get you to advice me on burger choices |
|---|---|
| me: | well, first of all, you need to consider your life goals, and your authentic appetite |
| your authentic appetite depends on the structure innate and spiritual of your stomach, which you can feel by lying down and probing with your fingers | |
| if your stomach is shaped like a star, then I recommend getting a softer burger | |
| Alex: | i do not use fingers to probe my stomach. my stomach probes itself through my fingers |
| me: | if it is shaped like a hand, then you should probably get a turkey burger |
| ah I see | |
| in this case, I would recommend feeling the texture of the burger before choosing it | |
| Alex: | what if my stomach is, itself, shaped like a soft burger |
| me: | if it is shaped like a soft burger, then you must first accept cannibalism |
| Alex: | can we really accept cannibalism? i thought cannibalism was the one in charge |
| me: | it is very difficult |
| but it is possible | |
| Alex: | ok |
| me: | thanks for your question |
| Alex: | i have eaten off my own face |
this is a white cheek with a horn.
(via jaguargoddess)
cheek press
Who said you can’t be scary and sexy at the same time?
blended cheex
